April Fool's Day Dribbles and Drabbles
by Gmariam
Summary: Just a few short drabbles featuring various pranks at Hogwarts–too short to publish on their own, but hopefully a fun compilation.
1. Ruminant

Ruminant

"Bloody hell." James Potter stared at his best friend. Gone was the large black dog he was so used to seeing, glossy fur and bushy tail and grizzled muzzle—gone. James could barely comprehend the sight before him. Sirius had just wanted to go for a run in the forest, but something had gone terribly wrong.

"Moony," he whispered, slowly approaching what had once been his best friend. "What happened?" The animal butted against his leg, and James jumped back. "Where's Sirius?"

Remus was in equal shock, his face white as a sheet. "Helga's hairy chin, I have no idea, Prongs."

The beast trotted over to Remus, bleating impatiently. James felt a rush of panic set in. "Well, what do we do? We can't go to Pomfrey—we'd have to tell her everything. We'd be suspended-—chucked in Azkaban, even!"

Remus shrugged helplessly "We…we fix him, then."

"How?" James asked, his voice unnaturally high. The animal trotted back to him, and James felt a slow wetness soak through his trainers.

"It pissed on me!" he cried, jumping back. "Sirius just pissed on me!"

When he glanced up at Remus, his friend was holding back a snigger. "It's not funny, Moony," James snapped. "This is serious."

"Of course it's Sirius. He's looking a bit ruminant, though." Remus broke into a broad grin, but James stared at him as if he had gone mad.

"How can you make jokes when your best friend is a…a…"

The beast bleated before them, and James choked back his strangled answer.

"A goat."

Remus doubled over laughing. James gave him another murderous glare before bending down, gingerly reaching out for the beast's scraggly snout. The goat rubbed against him as if begging for help.

"Don't worry, Sirius," he murmured. "Moony may be a prat, but I'll figure this out. I'll turn you back."

Remus cleared his voice and stepped forward. "I'm sorry, Prongs, but you do have to admit, it's…"

James stood, ready to retort, but when the animal butted him again, and Remus burst out laughing once more, he couldn't help it: a grin began to spread across his face. He started to laugh, but quickly covered it up as a cough.

"It's bad news," he said, trying to stay focused, and Remus nodded in agreement as he took a deep breath. "We need to help him."

"Right." Remus crossed his arms over his chest and studied Sirius, who had plucked up a bit of grass and was chewing loudly. James could see the corners of Remus's mouth twitching again.

"Moony," he warned.

"Sorry." Remus cleared his face. "There's a spell to force an Animagus back to human form. We just need to find it."

"What do we do with him in the meantime?" James asked. "We can't leave him out here, but we can't really sneak a goat into the dormitory either."

"Oh, he'll be fine," said a voice from behind them. Peter stepped out, James's invisibility cloak in one hand and his wand in the other. "You don't need the Animagus spell."

"Why not?" Remus asked suspiciously. Peter merely winked and waved his wand. The goat disappeared and in its place appeared Sirius, grinning madly as he bowed low.

"Got you good, didn't I?"

~FINIS~


	2. Strawberry Kisses

**Strawberry Kisses**

James Potter stood by the steps to the boys' dormitory, arms crossed as he waited impatiently for someone to trigger the prank that he and Sirius had set for the common room. It was April Fool's Day, and one of their last, so naturally they gone all out with another spectacular pull on the common room: they had carefully charmed the ceiling to rain down tropical fruit and the wireless to break into reggae music as soon as someone said the magic words. So far, no one had mentioned Merlin's beard yet, so the party had yet to begin.

Lily Evans entered and James frowned. Something nagged at the back of his mind, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He glanced around, thinking he needed to do something, but before he could, a group of fifth-years swore and triggered the charms to begin. The ceiling exploded with kiwis, mangos, papayas, and other tropical fruit, and the air was filled with the sound of steel drums and Bob Marley. After an initial gasp of surprise and a few irritated shouts as fruit splattered here and there, the common room burst into a joyful celebration—laughing and dancing.

James saw Lily cover her head with her arms and frantically make her way back toward the steps to the girls' dormitory, but she was hit on the face with several strawberries the size of small melons. The terrified look in her eyes reminded him of what had been bothering him mere moments before: Lily was extremely allergic to strawberries.

He rushed toward her, pushing his way through the laughing Gryffindors, desperate to protect her. She was coughing as she tried to reach safety, but no one seemed to notice her distress. Eyes wide with panic, Lily suddenly fell to her knees as she struggled to breathe.

Pulling out his wand, James cast a Shield Charm to keep any more of the offensive fruit from hitting her. Yet by the time he had gotten through the dancing, cheering crowd, Lily was laying on the floor at the bottom of the steps, eyes closed and lips blue.

Raising his wand toward the ceiling, he cried, "_Finite!"_ The fruit stopped falling, the music stopped playing. The Gryffindors muttered good-naturedly about the abrupt end to their fun. Suddenly incensed that no one had seen Lily collapse—and that he hadn't thought about her deadly allergy before the prank—James cast a Vanishing Charm. His anger lent him power, and not only did the fruit disappear, but so did just about everything else in the common room: tables, chairs, books, bags, and even some robes. The students began to complain loudly.

Kneeling next to Lily, James pointed his wand at her chest and murmured, "_Rennervate_." She did not awake, and his fear doubled with the thought of what he had unintentionally done to her. He was relieved to feel a fluttering pulse, but she was still not breathing. Trying to remember what he had learned in one of their weekend hospital wing classes, he pinched her nose and blew several breaths into her swollen lips. He stopped to listen and tried again.

By now everyone had stopped to stare at the scene by the steps. Several girls gasped and began to cry. Suddenly Remus was next to him, looking at Lily with a mixture of fear and sympathy. "She'll be okay if we can get her to the hospital wing right away. Madam Pomfrey has a shot for her there."

James didn't even stop to question how Remus knew what to do; he figured it was probably a Muggle thing. He picked up Lily and snarled at people to get out of his way as he hurried toward the portrait hole. A trail of silence followed him as he carried one of their own, seemingly lifeless, through the stunned room. When he got to the portrait hole, Sirius pushed it open, his face pale.

"Prongs, I'm so—"

James barely acknowledged his friend as he left the common room and began to run as fast as he could toward the hospital wing. He wasn't angry at Sirius; he was mad at himself.

"Come on, Lily," he whispered as he ran, his lungs burning with the effort. "Don't leave me now. I can kiss way better than that."

Lily's eyes fluttered. "Doubt it, Potter," she murmured. "You're just a prat."

James didn't know whether to laugh or cry with relief. He continued down the corridors, hoping that when Lily pulled out of this she would not only forgive him, but let him prove it.

And he vowed he would never pull a prank like that again.

~FINIS~


	3. Misspelled

**Misspelled**

If Professor McGonagall was distracted by the upcoming Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin, it was nothing compared to James: he was positively twitching with anticipation. He could barely concentrate during Transfiguration, and as he sat in the common room reading over his notes that evening, he wished he could understand what he had written.

"_Mutatio formo, genero cuniculus?"_ he murmured. "No. Remus, what's the incantation McGonagall gave us today?"

"I think it's _Mutatis formo, genero cuniculus_," he replied, "but she wasn't very clear."

James turned toward Sirius. "Heads up, Padfoot. _Mutatis formo, genero cuniculus_."

Sirius grinned as he was surrounded by a pale blue light. James waited for the transformation—Sirius should be turning into some sort of rabbit by now—but nothing happened.

"It seems you have failed to execute the spell correctly," Sirius observed in an oddly formal voice, far different than his sarcastic drawl. "Perhaps if you had taken better notes you might have succeeded."

"Huh?" asked James. Remus was frowning. Peter glanced over to see what was going on.

"You were obviously distracted this morning, most likely due to the upcoming match," sniffed Sirius, still speaking stiffly. He had a condescending look on his face. "The wand movement looks like this—" he demonstrated the complicated gesture perfectly—"and the incantation is _Mutatis forma, genero cuniculus_." He paused and glanced around. "The correct outcome should therefore look like this." He turned toward Remus and promptly turned him into a fluffy white rabbit. James and Peter burst out laughing, but Sirius looked insulted.

"I think your spell worked, just a bit differently than you thought it would," whispered Peter. Remus hopped up on the table and twitched his nose toward Sirius. Sirius waved his wand haughtily, and Remus reappeared, looking somewhat annoyed.

"How so?" asked James. Sirius was definitely not himself. He tipped his head to them and began walking around the room, offering unsolicited advice to other students in his strange, stilted manner. It was very uncharacteristic of him, to help instead of hinder, and James was not sure he appreciated his friend's sudden academic turn.

"You turned him into a Ravenclaw!" Peter crowed.

Remus joined them as they laughed at the unexpected consequences of the misspoken spell. Sirius turned and frowned with disapproval.

"Should we try to fix him?" asked James, not sure whether to be concerned or enjoy the show.

"No," said Remus and Peter together.

"I want to see who hits him first," added Remus with a straight face.

The sound of a hand across a cheek interrupted their laughter as they glanced toward Sirius to see what had happened. Lily Evans stormed from the room, leaving Sirius standing with his hand on his face, alone and looking shocked.

"Was it something I said?" he asked, oblivious.

"There you go, Moony," James grinned. "Come on, let's turn him back before he really gets in trouble."

"We should remember this for April Fool's," murmured Peter. James clapped him on the back.

"You, my friend, are a genius. We start planning as soon as the match is over."

~FINIS~


	4. Prats

**Prats**

"So you're a witch, then? With magical powers and everything?"

Ginny gritted her teeth and nodded. She desperately wished she could hex this prat a new set of—

"And somehow I ended up with your powers?" he continued. He ran a hand through his overly coiffed dark hair, tilting his head to catch his reflection in the mirror across the room.

She sighed and indicated that this was indeed the sad state of things. He suddenly grinned, his teeth almost blinding, and said, "Excellent."

She almost punched him in the face, his expression was so infuriating. It was bad enough to lose her magic thanks to the worst prank her brothers had ever pulled, and even worse to lose them to some arrogant Muggle named Parker who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time down in the village. He obviously thought quite highly of himself and his appearance, judging from his impeccable grooming and expensive clothing. Ginny had disliked him from the moment she knocked on his door, only to find herself hanging upside down on his stoop.

"So what can I do?" he asked, pacing in front of the fireplace with barely contained excitement. "Can I become invisible? Can I magic myself a new car? Can I curse people?" His ice-blue eyes sparkled at the last suggestion.

"Yes, yes, and yes," she reluctantly replied. "However, you need one of these to focus your spells." She produced her wand, momentarily closing her eyes in pain at the very thought of such a man ever touching her wand.

"Whoa." He reached out toward it hungrily. "Is that a real magic wand?"

"Of course it is, you tosser!" she snapped, hugging it to her as if it were the last time she might hold it. "And it's mine, so don't you dare—"

He didn't seem to hear her last sentence; he was practically drooling as he grabbed the wand from her hands. He ran his fingers over it almost reverently, and she shuddered at the violation of something she had carried since she was eleven.

"So what do I do? Just wave it?" And he did—right at her chest. She felt a strange tug and glanced down to see that her shirt was too tight; her breasts had doubled in size and were now bursting from her top.

Flushed with anger and embarrassment, Ginny cocked her arm back and hit the Muggle who had ended up with her magic square in the face. She felt a small sense of accomplishment as his eyes rolled back in his head and blood spurted from his nose. He crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

Ginny rolled her own eyes and settled down to wait for him to wake up. She only hoped that the spell wore off before he did, because she was going to cast some of the biggest bat bogey hexes of her life as soon as she could—for Parker, and the infuriating prats that were her twin brothers.

~FINIS~


	5. Fifty Shades of Fred and George

**Fifty Shades of Fred and George**

Remus Lupin gazed at the two fifth-year students standing in front of him. He was trying very hard not to laugh; it had been a great prank, after all. Yet he was a teacher now, and needed to enforce school discipline. He was suddenly reminded of his days as a prefect, and how difficult it had been to keep his friends in line.

"Fred. George." Remus cleared his throat in an effort to hide his smile. "While I appreciate the intricate planning that went into this prank—" he ran his hands through his hair, now a violent shade of electric blue, "—you realize that I must still give you a detention."

The twins shrugged, obviously not caring about detention after the hilarious uproar that had ensued in the Great Hall when dozens of students and teachers had begun spontaneously sporting a new hair color.

"And take ten points each from Gryffindor," added Lupin. The twins looked at him in disbelief.

"That's all?" asked George incredulously.

"A detention and twenty points?" repeated Fred.

"I must admit that while blue isn't my color," began Remus, "I thought Professor Snape looked lovely in that particular shade of green."

Fred snorted, and George kicked him silent.

"I assume you had planned on delivering the antidote as well?" asked Lupin, watching their reaction.

"How do you know about the antidote?" asked George, narrowing his eyes.

Remus reached into his desk and pulled a small vial from the top drawer. It was filled with a clear amber liquid. Without answering, he unstopped the vial and swallowed the contents. Within moments his hair returned to its more traditional brown color, tinged with bits of grey, and he smiled at the look of surprise on the twins' faces.

"It was not as original as you think, gentlemen," he announced. "That isn't the first time Hogwarts has found itself on the wrong end of a Shading Solution in the Great Hall on April Fool's Day." He waited for the impact of his words to sink in.

The twins' eyes went wide.

"You didn't—" breathed Fred.

"No way!" chortled George.

Remus stepped around the desk and led them toward the door with a smile. "I don't think Professor Snape liked his green hair back then, either," he replied with a wink.

"Wicked," said Fred.

"Off with the antidote now, please," ordered Lupin. "We had to deliver it to each Head of House with a full apology, so I would suggest you do the same. Immediately. You will serve your detention this weekend."

"Yes, sir!" they replied, and dashed off, grinning. Remus shook his head; it was remarkable how much the Weasley twins reminded him of James and Sirius. He was suddenly struck by an amusing thought, and before they turned the corner, Remus raised his wand and sent a quick Color Change Charm down the corridor toward the twins.

Remus laughed to himself as Fred and George walked away, their red hair now a deep shade of purple. They hadn't even noticed.

Original, indeed.

~FINIS~

* * *

**End Notes**

And that, my friends, is the last one! These were all written for various drabble prompts over at MNFF over the years. A few pranks I adapted for April Fool's Day, but I do hope you enjoyed them all! Thank you for reading and reviewing and hope you had a fun day!


End file.
